Try to steer the child to accomplish smaller tasks. A job well done, however small, is better than a huge project unfinished. Independence is to be encouraged, but children with ADHD especially need adults to support them and provide security.
Listen carefully to the child with ADHD and be aware that he is very prone to misreading situations and can overreact and readily become upset. This can make him an easy target for other children.
Try to share his view of the situation and adopt an empathetic, supportive approach. Aim to encourage a sense of belonging to the class and to the school, and of making a contribution. Support him in his activities, both within and outside the school and praise and acknowledge even apparently relatively minor achievements. Involving the child in something, even if it is to look after the school guinea pigs or be a milk monitor, is helpful. If he is not good enough to play in the best teams or be in the school play, then some way of acknowledging and encouraging his strengths and abilities should be found.
Try not to let the child feel different, and enable him to work and behave to his ability. It is more likely that with appropriate support his other abilities will also become apparent and flourish.
Frequently, the child with ADHD tends to elicit negative and controlling behaviour from adults, rather than supportive and positive behaviour. This means that his name has often gone before him and he may more readily be blamed for the misdemeanours of others. Be careful to discipline respectfully and sensitively. Do not change the rule but use polite enforcement. Pupils do not like to be ‘told off’ by teachers whom they hold in high regard. Conversely, they often find it difficult to accept praise from teachers who they perceive as treating them with contempt or disrespect.
Try to ensure the pupil has confidence in the adults who are around him. For example, if he is upset with something that has happened at school or at a club, don’t deny the problem but be understanding and supportive. Only then discuss why it happened and offer ways to avoid it happening again. Do not blame others in front of the child. If you need to, speak to the teacher or a parent in private, but try not to show your disappointment in front of the child in how the situation was handled. You can also try hypnosis for confidence.
Children need to know that someone is on their side who believes in them, which does not mean that the person is a ‘soft touch’. On the contrary, they care enough to correct things quickly and act as the child’s brakes when theirs have failed. Say ‘no’ and mean ‘no’. Discipline should be consistent and within defined boundaries.
