Every child has the capacity to win at something. Your challenge as a parent is to find that something!
Assume that your child may not be good at the things you are good at. My father has outstanding mechanical ability. He can take apart, fix, and put back together virtually anything. My brother and I are far better at breaking things than fixing them. Dad can’t understand why we can’t fix things; we can’t understand how he does!
Assume, too, that your child may not like the things you like. Larry likes to play golf. His son thinks it’s the stupidest game he’s ever been around. These differences are not merely a matter of children rebelling against parents for the sake of exerting their own identity. People are simply different.
Finally, assume your child may not have the career you want him or her to have. You are better off assuming that your child is not going to be a doctor, lawyer, millionaire, president of the nation, or the inheritor of your business.
Parents are better advised to help children succeed at their choice of careers, than to make everyone’s life miserable trying to dictate their child’s future! A son or daughter who is miserable, angry, or bitter at his or her choice of job, profession, or vocation is not likely to be a success at it. Let your child choose personal goals and walk his or her own path.
How do you find the “star” in your child?
Watch what your child likes to do. Where is your child’s interest? What makes your child truly excited? As long as it’s moral and legal, encourage that activity!
Stuart loved to watch airplanes. He could hardly be torn away from the airport when the family went to pick up visiting relatives. He bought airplane posters, books about airplanes, and even instructions for making a light-wing, single-engine, single-passenger aircraft. His mother had a phobia about flying and hated the thought of her son in a plane. Still, she could see this wasn’t an interest that would wane. So, she bought Stuart model airplane kits. She allowed him to get a part-time job and use his earnings for flying lessons. Today, Stuart is a commercial pilot. His mother still takes the train, but she knows her son is in the “dream” job he always desired.
To help your child become a “star,” you must first help your child find the right stage on which he or she can perform his or her best and brightest number.
Once you’ve located that interest, do your best to help your child develop the fullest potential of his or her abilities. If your child is interested in theater, take your child to plays, and get backstage to talk with actors and stage managers, if at all possible. Give your child the opportunity to be a part of children’s theater programs. Attend your child’s school plays. Your child may one day paint sets for the local community theater rather than star on the big screen, but he or she will still be a star on his or her own stage.
But what about that day when the child’s interests change?
That often happens. In fact, expect it. Rarely do people know all their lives what they want to pursue as a career.
Whatever changes in interest may occur, don’t count the experiences you’ve provided your child as losses. Count them as enrichment. Count them as opportunities you gave your child to explore his or her talents, to develop certain skills, and to grow in self-discipline through practice and practical experience.
And finally, have reasonable expectations of your child. On any sports field, in any recital, on any test, there’s only one “best.” Your child may not be the star. That doesn’t mean she can’t be a star.
A child who learns to overcome stage fright, to master a new skill, or to learn a new part is a child who grows in confidence. A child who learns to overcome failure through discipline, practice, and more practice is a child who comes to value his or her own strength of character.
Give your child the opportunity to walk onto a chosen “stage,” to do his or her best, and to hear your “Bravo!”
