Children with ADHD tend to be more impaired than their peers in school behaviour, academic progress and social interaction with peers and parents. The various impairments of these children, their difficulties with school behaviour, organizing their spare time and relationships with parents often mean that their true potential and ability are not recognized. Their lack of motivation may mean that they tend to spend more time unproductively around the house. Relationship difficulties with parents and at school may mean that life can be a very negative experience for them, without support or understanding. All children need nurturing, but those with ADHD require this in abundance to be able to function fully to their potential.
It’s important to recognize that these children may need sensitive help in making and maintaining friendships. Try to help them counteract the effects that their whirlwind behaviour or impulsiveness may have on others and understand how this may discourage friendships. There is no easy way to do this, but developing a relationship with the child, pointing out where specific situations have been problematic and making suggestions for the future can often be helpful.
Children with ADHD tend to get blamed more than other children, and sometimes can have a reputation for always being in trouble which goes before them, so they are blamed for things that are not even their fault. They can often be bullied or bully and, sometimes, in a desperate attempt to make friends, try to ‘buy’ them with toys or sweets. Sadly, that type of ‘friendship’ can be very short lived as the other child soon loses interest. Very often they don’t get invited to parties, included in the football team and can even be excluded from school outings.
So, make a point of highlighting – to them and often in front of others – their areas of competence as well as their areas of knowledge. This can be particularly motivating and encouraging to these vulnerable pupils.
Usually, there is something that the child will do very well. When you discover it, try to emphasize the achievements, without being patronizing. This will give him more confidence, and nothing succeeds like success.
